Trent Brock: 3X terminal cancer conqueror and international small business entrepreneur.

Trent Brock is 3X terminal cancer conqueror and international small business entrepreneur.  Trent introduced, owned and operated a kettle corn manufacturing business in New Zealand over fourteen years.

In early 2019, he was diagnosed with aggressive pelvic/hip cancer.  The surgery left him disabled with one leg shorter than the other (Doctors told him he would never walk again - he has been in a wheelchair/crutches over five years).  Then he got lung cancer and later pancreatic with a less than 5% chance to survive.  Trent made drastic changes to his diet, exercise routine, mental and spiritual outlook even though five specialists told him life was over and given a year to live.  In the Spring 2021 he returned to the US to have cancer treatment from his now home base Bentonville, Arkansas.  As of today, he is almost three years cancer free!  Trent is currently in the middle of a three-part journey-within-the-journey surgery recently having the largest, most complex hip implant ever done in the world.  He is a few months from walking.  

Turning his pain into purpose,  Trent is now an inspirational speaker, cancer journey/patient self-advocate ambassador and best-selling author in "Breaking the Silence:  Voices of Survivors Vol 1." 

www.trentbrockcoaching.com

trent@trentbrockcoaching.com

https://podcastguests.com/expert/trentbrock/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIcU7luFnmg&list=PLF3oqNM0rufNWA6fCCN-Omxx7QONRzzYx

https://www.facebook.com/trent.brock.73

https://www.instagram.com/trentbbrock

https://www.linkedin.com/in/trent-brock-22313b1

Chapters

• 0:55 Surviving Cancer
• 11:33 Overcoming Pancreas Cancer and Survival
• 25:27 Coping With Mental and Physical Health
• 39:23 Addressing Mental Health and Chronic Pain
• 47:13 Coping With Pain and Regrets
• 1:01:55 Finding Hope in Personal Challenges
• 1:07:58 Future Plans for Writing a Book

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:56

Hi, welcome, trent, to Quantum Alchemist Master Podcast. I'm actually very excited to have you here to listen a little bit about your story, your journey. Why don't you start and tell us a little bit about you?

Speaker 2: 1:09

Sure, well, I'm originally from Shreveport, louisiana, so I grew up there. I went to college in Louisiana, graduated with an MBA and IT degree. I grew up there, I went to college in Louisiana, graduated with an MBA and IT degree, traveled around the country and in the world installing large IT systems, and I ended up in New Zealand of all places, the bottom end of the world. I lived there for a long time beautiful country, wonderful people. I loved it. I loved it. It was an awesome, awesome place. I'm back in the States now.

Speaker 1: 1:40

Okay, how's the beach there?

Speaker 2: 1:43

It's like you know, I kind of think of it kind of like Florida. You know it's just every. You know it's an Island, so it's beach everywhere and yeah, I mean you know they're, they're really kind of greeny there, they're into natural and preserving. There, they're into natural and preserving, and so you know there's a lot of clean, nice, beautiful beaches. You know, just you you can get all. You can go and um with with you know a big crowd of people, or you can go off down you know way far away and get on an isolated beach where it's just you.

Speaker 1: 2:13

It's a, it's a cool place very cool, so tell me a little bit about your journey. In regards to your health, you know how that all started to unfold. Maybe, when it happened, what led to it?

Speaker 2: 2:28

Sure, sure. Well, you know, I moved down to New Zealand to do IT work and I just I was in the boxing gym and I met this American guy that was down there as a manager and you know, I kind of got to know him and he did farmer market like outdoor craft market kettle corn in his home state. So we started a kettle corn business on the weekends while I was doing that and it blew up crazy. It turned into this massive manufacturing deal, a couple of plants, and we serviced all the supermarkets and internationally and everything.

Speaker 2: 3:07

Well, in 2019, on the top of popcorn heaven, as I like to call the factory, I started limping around and I went to a couple of GPs. They all kept saying the same thing we think you've torn a butt muscle. Okay, all right, it just wasn't getting better and I had to go into the hospital to have some blood work done just not totally unrelated and the hematologist said look, I think something's wrong. Let's get an x-ray. Okay, all right. I kind of you know, argued with her. A week later she calls when I'm on my way to lunch from the factory and said Trent, you've got aggressive, massive hip bone cancer and you have a quarter inch of bone, holding your leg on Every step you take, take, you're in danger of breaking your leg. If you break your leg, it's coming off. Where are you right now? You have to come to the hospital immediately.

Speaker 1: 4:05

That's how it all started but I pause you there for a moment. Yeah, wow. So what? What was your, your first thoughts when you got those news? Like how to process that? How did it hit you like a brick in the face. Like how did you dealt with that those first couple of seconds when you heard those news?

Speaker 2: 4:27

well, well, I, I couldn't believe it. Obviously it shocked me, but I, I came at it in the hole already because, um, my, my brother's best friend, my aunt and uncle's godson, a good friend of ours, died at the age of 38, left his wife and kids of cancer about a year before. Not even All I could think of was that, yeah. So it just did my head right there at the start, you know, terrible. So, uh, yeah, that's, that's kind of how it was, you know, and I call I, you know, immediately, like I called home, I couldn't get ahold of my mom.

Speaker 2: 5:08

I called my dad and, um, you know, I was very upset, you know, obviously emotionally upset, you know, and he and, uh, he just kept saying you know, you're not Chris, you're not like Chris, that isn't going to happen to you. And man, I mean, I was just, you know, so went to the hospital, you know, and checked in. It's public health care in New Zealand. So you know, it's what you would think of, you know it's free, but the service is average and you know it takes a long time to do anything.

Speaker 2: 5:42

So that's kind of how the whole journey was like that in New Zealand.

Speaker 1: 5:47

OK, so when you found out about this that you moved back to the States to get treatment, or how did that go?

Speaker 2: 5:52

A couple of years. I was there still a couple of years. So I stayed in New Zealand, yeah, and had the surgery there. I didn't, you know, I didn't think I could get insurance in the States and I was on the public insurance that no one pays for in New Zealand, you know, it's all part of your taxes. So you know, no one has private paid insurance like they do in America. It's just different, it's different, just different, it's different.

Speaker 2: 6:20

So, you know, we had my records, you know, sent here and Haswell Bay Ways is done, and they actually, you know, gave us a better option in New Zealand. So we decided, well, let's just have the surgery there. So what the plan was? They start to build an implant and then, a couple months later, let's put the thing in, the cancer had progressed, so the implant wouldn't fit and they would. So we started over Third time. They're like well, it's progressed too far, you know we're going to have to cut your leg off. Well, I lost it, you know, and thank God that you know. I, finally, what I was doing is I was getting my parents on the phone with my big appointments.

Speaker 2: 6:56

They'd be on the speakerphone talking with me and the doctor. Right, my dad just stepped in. He said look, you're not cutting this guy's leg off. You know he's a fighter, he's not a quitter, you don't know my son, and if anybody can make this work, he will lead the leg. And if you want to cut it off later, but don't cut it off now. So the doctor, kind of reluctantly, said oh, okay, but it's going to be shorter than the other. You know he's never. He's never going to walk again. He'll be on crutches for the rest of his life. It'll be shorter than the other. Well, I'm not guarantee how it's going to feel. I'm not going to guarantee function or anything. It's going to be like a stump. His life will be better if we cut it off. My dad said no, we don't care, we're leaving, okay.

Speaker 2: 7:41

So had the surgery. It was successful, massive surgery, but it got infected. So I deal with this chronic infection for several months trying to heal up in the hospital. Never, never get over the infection but heal up enough to check out after four months I go back. You know I'm, I'm, I'm working the whole time. It's my business, you know. And so I mean I'm not going to shut the door, so I'm working from the hospital bed and finally get out, you know, back to work. I just want you back to normal. Mom and dad go home Right and uh, the next scan pancreatic and lung cancer. On the scans pancreatic and lung cancer, on the scans. I'm just like what are you? Are you kidding me?

Speaker 1: 8:24

and I asked you something. Yeah, yeah, go ahead interrupting, sure, because at times like this, um, maybe not all of us, but a lot of us begin to question where is god and why me?

Speaker 2: 8:37

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:38

So did any of that cross your mind after like, okay, hello, I'm fighting, I'm giving it. You know my 50% where spirit coming in. You know they're 50%, what's happening, you know how did that go in regards to that. And then you can carry on to, to, to the rest of you.

Speaker 2: 8:55

Yeah, you know, I was just kind of, you know, doing what the doctor said and and trying to follow that and just kind of, you know, be led by how I thought, you know, and I, and I know enough to know not to blame God, you know, for me, for me, you know I, my perspective on that whole thing is, you know, long, long time ago, with Adam and Eve, they're the ones that messed everything up for us, right? And? And you know sin, you know there's sin in the world and the world is really kind of the devil's domain. And you know God sent Jesus for our way out of here, right? Know, god sent Jesus for our way out of here, right. And so my perspective is you know bad things happen to people, but if you believe in God, he will help you find a way out. So if you turn your back on him and you blame him, there's no help there. So I knew enough to know not to do that.

Speaker 2: 9:59

But, you know, frustrated, confused, you know, I mean, yeah, and sometimes angry, angry at God, angry at everything, you know, sometimes upset, you know, through all the different emotions you can only imagine, you know, and down there in New Zealand, by myself thinking, god, you know, this was a dumb idea this far away from home. You know what? This was a dumb idea, this far away from home? I'm thinking, you know all the health issues and and, just like god I love, this is what I wanted to do. But you know, now it's just kind of not a really smart idea to have, you know, decided to move here with knowing no one. You know, I mean, I had my friends and stuff, but they're not family, you know not your parents.

Speaker 2: 10:39

Yeah, yeah. So you know the pancreas and lung thing. Obviously the pancreas is way more serious. It's less than a 5% chance when you're diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with treatment. Ok, so we decided we're going to cut it out. It was at the bottom end of my pancreas, you know the tumor was. We're going to cut that out. And you know, just like we did with the, every time we're just like well, we found cancer, so cut it out of here. Okay, well, we had the surgery. It was successful.

Speaker 2: 11:10

This was during COVID, by the way, covid had hit between the diagnosis and the surgery. So we're locked down surgery all by myself. That's not a big deal, but you know the isolation and no one can visit you and all this stuff, right? Well, when the surgery was over, have the debrief with the doctor and they're like congratulations, you don't have cancer. What? Why did we do the surgery? Well, you know, it was a misdiagnosis, it was a blood clot, you know, um, we couldn't tell on the scans. And I'm like there, there's no consequences, it's public health care. What are you gonna do, right? So let's, let's take the positive out of the situation. And I'm alive, right, and I still have half my pancreas, and okay, so we, technically, we beat pancreas cancer some way or somehow in a life. Well, god gave me a way out of this, right? Okay, then the lung thing. Right, so we have a lung surgery that was successful but that got infected.

Speaker 1: 12:12

Okay, Can I ask you one thing, sorry, did you get a repeat lung scan after finding out the pancreas thing was kind of they were sure, they were very sure, they were sure this was cancer on this one right, and you know.

Speaker 2: 12:27

So normally I show a couple of kind of little props that help me. So when I had the surgery, this is what it looked like afterwards. So you can see my pelvis right. See my spine. This is what it looked like afterwards. So you can see my pelvis right. See my spine. This is what they took out.

Speaker 2: 12:47

But they left this little wire here. Okay, that wire was to keep my leg from moving up because it's jello in there Any pressure. It just kind of continues to just move up, right. Well, they decided, when I was in the hospital with the lung thing, we're going to take out that wire. It's causing the infection. So you know, I'm hopped up on the drugs from the lung surgery and they are like, well, you know, we want to take that out. So I just kind of agreed and they did. Well, it caused some issues and this is what occurred. So my leg bone that was here ended up moving to here and this is the size shoe that I ended up with Four and a quarter inches, yeah, that's like the biggest platform shoe anyone ever.

Speaker 2: 13:36

Okay, so I have an infected lung, infected hip, still in my you know, two and a half months in the hospital, still no visitors, no, nothing. You know all that thing Got out. You know still trying. You know dragging this leg around on crutches trying to work. Do my thing, whatever. Next skin. No, no, no, you really do have pancreas cancer this time You've got to be kidding me. Okay, well, this time can we do a biopsy? Because last time you refused it, you wouldn't do it and it was a mistake. And if we do it this time it's going to make me a diabetic and I don't want to do that. My grandmother went out diabetic and it was a tough deal watching that. I don't want to do that. Okay, we'll do a biopsy. Took a couple months to do a biopsy.

Speaker 2: 14:26

Okay, when they found the cancer on the scan, it was the size of a couple of nickels on its side. Okay, I was getting the scan reports. I started getting them afterwards and reading them. I can read measurements. Well, one of the last scans I had, it had turned into the size of a tennis ball in like four months and growing into my stomach. I can't eat. I'm losing weight. I'm looking in the mirror.

Speaker 2: 14:57

I'm like I'm dying, right, I pay enough money to go to a private get a private opinion. This guy's like Trent, it's too far gone, there's nothing we can do. We can't do anything. You can go home. We can't do surgery, we can't do radiation, it's too risky, everything's too risky. You know it's too far, everything's too risky. You know we, it's, it's, it's too far. And I'm like and and and do what? Like go home and wait to die. And he said, well, you may make it, but, um, there's nothing I can do for you. And I said, man, you're giving me a death sentence. You know it's less than a five percent with treatment. And you're telling me no treatment. So you know, I'll just go home and dig a hole, you know.

Speaker 2: 15:37

So at that point I started kind of losing it, right, my, you know, I just go home and dig a hole, you know. So at that point I started kind of losing it, right. My, you know, I started kind of going into depression and my team, my team's, like you know, trent, you don't have to come to work anymore. And you know I started kind of sitting around the house because they were, you know, they were calling me, they needed me at work. You know I had to. You know I have to make decisions and help people and people don't know what to do and tell them what to do. And it was a good thing, right, it's a good thing. Get me out of bed, get me to work, get me thinking about that, because there's only so much you can think about yourself, right, until you just start really going negative.

Speaker 2: 16:09

And so, you know, I sat around the house for a couple of weeks doing that and I had an appointment with one of the pancreas doctors and after that I got on the phone with my mom and dad. That's what we do usually after the appointments All together on the phone. Afterwards call, let's talk about it. What are we going to do? Well, you know, my folks are strong Christians, good people, awesome. I wouldn't be here without seriously, I mean, they pulled me through on some of the days.

Speaker 2: 16:37

I just couldn't. I could feel them losing hope. I feel the helplessness. They're like our kid's going to die. He's got. You know, they've given me a year and I'm trying to figure out what to do.

Speaker 2: 16:50

I'm like I can't get insurance and you know what? It just hit me. It just hit me and I'm like I'm not a quitter, I am a fighter. You know, if anybody can do this, I can do this. A chance is a chance. I don't care what the percentages are. I only have one life and I only need one chance. And that just something happened and I was like you know what? I'm going to go for it, I'm going to fight this thing and if I go out, if they put me in the ground, I'm well, my last breath. They're going to say he fought to his last breath and I go out with my dignity and my pride. And you know, I'm not, I'm not giving up, I'm not curling up.

Speaker 2: 17:33

That was terrible, waiting around like that watching the clock, I mean it's just, it's horrific what it does to your head, right? So my dad and I figured it out that I could get some insurance. Things had changed a lot since I had been in the States, you know, and lived in the States for 15 years or something, figured out I could get insurance, expensive but affordable, right? So there was a limit of how much money. I wasn't going to come home, bankrupt my family and die, right. What are we going to do? They're broke and sad. Well, let's just be sad. You know, trying to be practical about it.

Speaker 2: 18:07

Came home, you know, looked around, you know, thought where am I going to go? Let's start at home. Here in Arkansas, where my parents live. I know the health care is good enough. If it's not good enough, we'll go somewhere. I mean dragging them to New Zealand, them doing the whole thing with the leg hard on. Everybody Went to the clinic five minutes up the road Right and went in, told the guy my issues.

Speaker 2: 18:31

The day I got the morning, I got off the plane, I was in the clinic and he said, look, this is serious. If we don't do something you're going to die for sure. But I think I can get this. I think I can get this tumor. And I'm like, what about all these issues? What about this? And they said, look, we've got pretty good machinery here and you know it's state of the art and I think we can get it. You're going to have to trust me or go somewhere else or do nothing. Right, ok, let's go for it.

Speaker 2: 19:02

So we did. We zapped it. We zapped it and it had grown to the size of a softball. Right, I had about a half a sausage worth of my pancreas left. So you can imagine, right, we zapped it though had to wait a few months, we got it. We got it Unbelievable, right.

Speaker 2: 19:24

And so I was still, you know, I was like, okay, you know, I started building my momentum, you know, and I did some immunotherapy. So you know we wouldn't have anything else spread metastatically like it had in New Zealand. You know we were concerned about that. So it's like, well, you know, I thought, I thought, and I'm alive, I did this for my parents, right, I didn't want to die on my folks, but I'm going to walk for me. I got to get over this infection.

Speaker 2: 19:50

So I found a doctor here in Arkansas, you know, went to him. We did. We used some antibiotics they didn't have in New Zealand. I had to do a three-month course of these Most people's maximum is two Made me sick, it was an IV thing Two hours a day, every single day. At the same time I was nauseous, I was sick, it just felt like I was on chemo or something. It was terrible. But you know what we got it. We got that infection, which allowed me to at least talk to people about this hip implant that I wanted.

Speaker 2: 20:22

I was told in New Zealand, you'll never walk again, you'll never get a surgery. There's nothing we can do, there's no, there's nothing left to bolt anything to right. I mean, okay, I just wouldn't give up. You know I got told no by several big hospitals here. You know they were just, I mean, some of them just told me don't, just don't come back. You know, like it's just not worth it. Well, luckily, and you know, the Lord had a plan right to get me back here to Arkansas to meet the people that I did, the network that I did, and I had an orthopedic advisor. You know this guy was an orthopedic with the cancer thing and all this stuff, and you know we just have a checkup every six months. You know it was like here's the plan If you can beat this cancer, we'll look at the infection. If you can beat the infection, we'll look at the implant Right. So we were catching up and he said look, if you really want to try to walk, again.

Speaker 2: 21:17

I think I got a guy for you at Mayo and I said, man, I've been to Mayo, I've seen Mayo. They told me, you know, they can only offer me some, really not a good, nothing that would work right, just this, you know. He said, well, you haven't talked to this guy and he worked with me. He does hips and knees, he specializes in this that no one else in the world does, and this is his thing. I'm going to refer you to him, I'm going to connect you guys. Go see him. Okay, I go up to Mayo, I see this guy. We have an appointment. We decide that we're going to do a three-part plan of three surgeries. We're going to do a temporary hip to get everything ready. We're going to put a permanent titanium hip in which won't give me all the length back, and then after that we're going to cut the femur and do a bone lengthening procedure to give you the four and a half inches back, four and a quarter. Because I said, look, doc, you know I love it, I love a hip implant idea, but I need all four inches, I need a plan or I'm not going. I'm an all or nothing guy. So we have to figure out something, you know, because, like there's no way we're going to be able to do a hip implant, you know, and get four inches. We can't stretch the nerves that far, it'll paralyze them. There's just things shrink, they don't come back to them.

Speaker 2: 22:35

Ok, we did that. We did the temporary hip. That went all right. Then we did the permanent hip implant. You know, that kind of that kind of was rough. I had the surgery last July and then it got infected so we kind of had to redo a lot of it back in October and that was really rough on me. But they put in the largest, most complex hip implant that's ever been done in the world, with procedures that have never been done. And you know, this is a replica of my actual pelvis, right with half of it missing, and this is the little million-dollar piece that they invented to hook everything together and it fits in here. I mean, I always get this wrong how it fits in here, but it fits in here, something like this OK, you can see, that's where the socket goes for the leg and hey man.

Speaker 2: 23:34

I'm a couple months away. I'm a one crutch now and I'm not too far from being on a cane and walking. This is what a normal hip implant looks like, right, okay, kind of a typical one. This is what mine looks like All this screws going all the way across rods in my spine. You know it was two days of surgery First. I think the first day was 18 hours. The next day was like six or something like that. But hey, I'm going to get my dream. I'm going to get my dream. I'm going to be walking soon. I know it.

Speaker 2: 24:13

Now, I didn't get all my length back, right, because you know, this is what they gave me back. But I got stability, I got a hip, I got functionality, I got something to pull against. I can move my leg. I mean, my leg just was like a swinging, you know pendulum. It just, you know, I couldn't even lift it, I couldn't do anything with it. You know, I mean it's, it's. I don't even have feeling in part of it. You know, I don't know so.

Speaker 2: 24:35

But hey, I'm going to be walking on this and I don't know I'm up in the air if I'm going to do the bone lengthening thing. You know, because you know the infection and everything that happened. Really it really set me back it, you know it kind of killed some of my mojo, you know. But hey, you know what, maybe that's not what I'm supposed to do. When I get there I'll think about it. When I get the sign, when I get the answer, I'll go for it, all right. Well, we don't have to make that decision today. I am happy, grateful and thankful for being alive, for beating the infection. I'm going to be at least walking soon, somehow some way. I mean, who cares about that? You know that little shoe that's not a big deal.

Speaker 1: 25:19

I have a ton of questions.

Speaker 2: 25:22

So that's kind of the story. So that's kind of the story. That's kind of the story in a nutshell.

Speaker 1: 25:26

All right. So let's start digging into this a little bit deeper, into the nitty gritty. Okay, let me start with New Zealand. Okay, mentally.

Speaker 1: 25:40

Okay, not only were you going through something physically, but mentally, the amount of stress that your nervous system is going through oh yeah sympathetic fight or flight mode, the amount of negative thoughts, whether you want it or not, that I'm sure we're shooting like crazy and part of our ego that doesn't want to die. We don't want to cease to exist, period, like that's the last thing on our mind. Well, cease to exist in this body anyway, but, um, you know it's, it's a fight against, against your survival. Um, so, mentally, was there anything that you were doing to kind of keep yourself sane, like meditating, breath work and journaling, anything to try to keep you from basically from going crazy?

Speaker 2: 26:27

Sure, well, you know, just kind of dumb and hardheaded the first couple of times with the cancer, you know I just would okay, well, you know, we got over this, let's just get back to work and maybe, like, we'll be normal again, right, as normal as we can get, didn't, didn't, you know, didn't, didn't think too much about it. Well, the third time, you know, I'm just like someone's got to change, I got to do something. I'm really going to die now, right, you know, I just kind of kept listening to the doctors, kind of doing what they said, but you know, I didn't change much. You know, I just kind of kept that fight. I'm just a fighter, you know, I just fight it. You know, I just hang on. I count the days down. Oh, relief, this is over. You know, okay, let's just get back to normal, thank God, and that'll never happen again. Well, you know, with the pancreatic thing, it was like I finally woke up and I started doing, you know, going to a counselor, counselor, right, and we started doing some meditating and when I had that epiphany moment that I was talking about, you know, with my parents, it kind of some of the self-help stuff and the things that I know, you know, spiritually or whatever, there's kind of four or five parts to a person's mind will body, emotions and spirit, right? So well, with the body, what are we going to do? We're going to, you know, start making healthy, healthier choices with what we're eating. I'm going to start exercising, you know, and making decisions like I'm going to be here, like I have a long term, like within the week of me getting diagnosed with this pancreatic cancer.

Speaker 2: 28:10

I went to the gym on my birthday with these crutches and this shoe and the leg and everything, and worked out my legs. I couldn't even touch my toes. Ok, that's why I wear the Crocs, because I couldn't touch my feet for years. And I worked out and I say, couldn't even touch my toes, okay, that's why I wear the Crocs, because I couldn't touch my feet for years. And I worked out and I say, you know what I'm doing this on my birthday, because in years, when I'm walking, every birthday I have, I'm going to remember that I was making decisions like I'm going to be here and I'm going to live. So you know, we kind of got that going right. That's just self-discipline, you know, it's not that hard.

Speaker 2: 28:46

The head though, ah, the head. So the counseling and you know she gave me some meditations, the leaves by a river, that worked well for me. You know, the body scan I would do. The tree in the forest, I think it is that one. So you know what I would do, those meditations, and I just I don't even know how today, how to even explain it. I can just tell you that you know, I visualize my cancer falling off this tree, because I kind of combine the tree and the leaf thing. I'm the tree. They fell off, the leaves fell off, which is the cancer. They fell off into the stream. They, you know, they go down the stream, they just fade away into nothing and at the end of the stream where I can't see anything, it's Niagara Falls, where my cancer. Things fall down and they're just gone.

Speaker 2: 29:43

Right, I do not know how, but that thinking those things calmed me. I could just put my problems and they would. Just, I have no idea how to explain it, but if you do meditation and even when you do it in the beginning you're like this doesn't work, you have to do it some, you have to do it for a couple of weeks, just do 10 minutes, just do 10 minutes, just relax. Right, and I started in on the self-help stuff. Right, I started evaluating things, cutting out the negative things in my life, you know. So, like any negative programs on TV not too much news, you know evaluated some friendships that weren't so solid, you know things like that.

Speaker 2: 30:22

And then, if I wasn't at work, I was trying to do something to get my head right, to better my chances that I was going to make it. So at the end of the day, right, this is how simple I I just broke it down. I'm like, if I just win today and I win enough days in a row, I won't die. I won't die, right? So you know I'm really hard on myself. You know I evaluate things. You know, at the end of the day, you know, when you're going to sleep, what do you do? Think about what happened the other day, think about what you did. When I go to sleep, I want to feel good about it, right? So I just try to make decisions that would make things good With my head though.

Speaker 2: 31:02

Self-help, self-help things, miracle sermons, find people on the internet that had beaten cancer and how they had done it, and you know, if they can do it, I can do it. I'm doing all these things to better my chance. If I just let me just better my chances, can I just better my chances, you know, and it took probably nine, 10 months for me to kind of get my head turned around and one of the things that worked the best was I would find something that resonated with me Self-help, podcast, sermon song, music, anything right. It was like this is the theme for the day, for the week, for a few days, whatever Right, and I would just repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat and I play it, going to sleep, and I wake up and it'd be playing and I knew the way I measure if it gets into me is if I wake up and the first thing I think is I'm thinking about that or like the first thing, the first thing is like a business, listen to the song over and over.

Speaker 2: 32:04

First thing I do is like, before I'm even awake, I'm singing that song and I'm thinking now I know it's getting in there, right, you have to like renew your mind and I am hard-headed, I am a knucklehead, I'm stubborn. That can be a weakness, right, it can work against you. A weakness, right, it can work against you. So you know this practical, you know just factual mindset that I have and believe in all these doctors was a really hard thing for me to turn around. But you know it's my choice, it's my life. They're part of they're just, they're an input into the final decision.

Speaker 2: 32:42

Right, and you know I'm a go getter. You have to go out there. You got to get what you get. You know you put yourself in the right position to survive, to make it, to meet your goal, to overcome your obstacle. That's where that stuff comes in, you know. And so you know I kind of have to. You know I have to do my part to feel like I can kind of say all right, you know I've done my part and I'm in a good spot to receive what I need. You know.

Speaker 1: 33:14

It'd be a magnet to attract.

Speaker 2: 33:15

Yes, there you go.

Speaker 1: 33:17

Now, did you have any issues with pain management medications or, you know, managing your pain? Was it like you know opioids or whatever it was for you Like how to deal with pain management? Because I mean, literally people have herniated disc.

Speaker 1: 33:35

I work in healthcare, I'm a nurse practitioner and I work pain management as well as primary care and literally people have herniated discs and they're, like you know, wanting controlled meds and all these things and unfortunately, as you know, that causes addiction and a certain you know other events. So did you have any any experiences with with that in particular?

Speaker 2: 33:58

yes, um, and it's probably. It's not going to be necessarily what you think. So in New Zealand for pain management in the hospital they use methadone Very effective, right, very effective as a pain manager tool, but it's very addictive and it's a long come down. Ok, well, on my hip, you know I was on the methadone, you know they they stepped me down off of it when I got out, you know, back to normal with the with the lung and the hip. This time through I was on the methadone, right, and they were stepping me down and the surgeon came in and said look, we have a patient that needs this bed more than you do and you've got to go tomorrow. And I'm like well, I've got an incision in my back. I've got an incision open in my leg. I've got a vac on me. I've got an IV thing in my arm where you guys are pumping, you know, stuff into me every day. I'm on crutches, I can barely walk, but my days consisted of let's get Trent out of the bed and put him in the chair and then, you know, a couple of times a day, let's get him up and take him to the bathroom and back to get me up and moving Right, and he's like well, you'll be OK, we'll send you home. So they sent me home, sent me home the next day Awesome, and that's so cute. And so I just thought, ok. So they packed me up, put me in a taxi and sent me home, right, well, I didn't have any. I didn't have any, any, any. They didn't release me with anything, and in New Zealand they're very, very careful about any of that kind of stuff you can get get addicted to. Most of the time they just give you a big box of paracetamol, right. And so you know, I had I had, you know, just eaten tons and tons of paracetamol. But you got to remember, they cut me from my belly button to my spine, halfway down my leg. They basically have cut my leg off, sewed it back on. I got an infection this big in my leg, the size of a cantaloupe, where the hip used to be right, this big fluid pocket. Yeah, it hurt terribly, it was just horrible. So they released me, I'm out.

Speaker 2: 36:07

You know, a couple of days go by, I am angry, I'm frustrated, my emotions are up and down all over the place. I'm having hot flashes, then I'm having the chills, you know, I'm just my head's all over the place. I've got anxiety. You know I'm just freaking out. I'm having the chills. You know I'm just my head's all over the place. I've got anxiety. You know I'm just freaking out. I'm having suicidal thoughts and all this stuff. I am literally sitting in my office at my factory, with my door closed, at my computer, in my underwear, just sitting there just sweating, going. What is going on?

Speaker 1: 36:40

Withdrawal symptoms yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:42

I'm withdrawing from methadone, I was like, oh, I didn't even think it would be anything because it was like I'm talking like, just like a drop, like a, like, like you know, like a dropper's worth. So then it became this drama. Right, I call the hospital, I call my doctor, I call the hospital. They're like the hospital's like well, we released you, we can't give anything. My GP's like, well, I can't prescribe that because you don't have a, and I'm like I'm caught in this thing. And they're like you can't come back to the hospital because we've released you. Okay, so I had to go through this, this crazy, you know red tape thing. Finally, then I have to find a pharmacy that provides it, because they don't provide right. So I'm calling around town. I finally find this pharmacy that has it. Okay, I go up there. They treat me like a crackhead, right, I mean I'm having withdrawal, I'm right there. I'm like you know, chomp, and just you know, like I need, I need this. It's five o'clock in the in the afternoon. The lines all the way out the door. You know I'm standing there, I'm in pain, I got all this going on. You know I'm waiting and you know, finally, you know they just, they just treat me like a crackhead man and I'm just like, look, you guys have to do something or I'm going to lose it. I'm going to lose it.

Speaker 2: 37:59

So I went through that. They would give me enough right to get me through about two or three days. I have to go through that all over again. I did that for a couple of weeks. I got so angry and frustrated with it, I just humped it. I just did it the hard way. I just did it and I had the physical symptoms I had for a couple of weeks. But the mental thing I had that for probably six weeks, two months, you know I was. I was suicidal man. I mean, I was thinking about I'm gonna go right out there on the deck and I'm gonna hang myself. I'm like I gotta get out of here, I'm gonna do something, you know, and uh.

Speaker 1: 38:32

So that that was my experience with that so how long did it take you to to kind of wean off like every three days, like that? How, how long I?

Speaker 2: 38:46

would say it took me. Um, it took me a couple of weeks, I think. Think, kind of with the physical stuff, right, With the physical things, kind of like you know, with the, you know, just I felt gritty and I just it's hard to explain you just feel really on edge and anxious and angry and frustrated, like you're going to crack at any time and the hot and cold thing and all that. That went on for maybe a couple of weeks. But the head stuff, right, you know the anxiety, the worry, the depression, you know, and then like the suicidal thoughts, you know that went on.

Speaker 1: 39:18

That's where I was going to. That's where I was going.

Speaker 2: 39:21

Couple of months. Couple of months, I'd say.

Speaker 1: 39:24

So I want to talk a little bit on that, because I have been through depression, through suicidal thoughts and through all of that stuff. And I did all that stuff, all the self-help as well, Not as aggressive as your health issues, but I've been through health issues as well and I can really relate to when you speak about these things because it really makes you question. There's a point in that spiral of darkness that, even though it's an awakening process, sometimes we don't see it that way. You know, when we're in the eye of the storm. So did you reach out for help? That's number one I want to ask, because sometimes we want to kind of bypass, numb, put it under the rug, stay busy, whatever we can do to not hear the noise that's in our head, Right so? And a lot of times people feel like you know, what are people going to think of me? Um, that I want to commit suicide.

Speaker 2: 40:26

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, um, you know they were aware that the you know, I told the nurses, I told everybody and they're like you know, basically it was kind of like well, if you think you're going to do something you need to call us. And you know I was, I had the counselor, you know my cancer counselor as well, but you got to remember this is during COVID, but you got to remember this is during COVID. Ok, you know, and me and my roommate had had a falling out about the COVID thing.

Speaker 2: 40:54

I could go to work, I could manufacture popcorn, because we needed to put food on the shelf for the country, because the only place you could go to buy food for months was the supermarket. So I was approved by the government to be able to go to work right and make popcorn. And he didn't, he couldn't handle it right Because I could go to work. People were there and man, they, you know they really they made us pretty worried about it in New Zealand, and so he and I were on no speaking terms and you know I wasn't really allowed to go anywhere in the house, so I was all alone.

Speaker 1: 41:29

That was where I was going to ask you like, literally, you had no one.

Speaker 2: 41:33

Yeah, correct.

Speaker 1: 41:34

Yeah, for how long?

Speaker 2: 41:36

Um, well, that the thing with my roommate went on for a year or so, a year, year and a half, yeah, we didn't speak at all for for that long. I mean, you know, when I moved out, I just said, when I, when I decided to come home, I just said, look, I'm giving you notice, I'm moving out. And he said, well, what about, what about the three weeks of rent that you owe me, you know for? For you know the stand down. I said, I'm going to, I'm going to pay my rent. You know he didn't care. You know that I'm going home, I cancer, you know I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to go home, you know. So I'm giving you notice. And he said, well, you owe me three weeks worth of rent. I mean, that's the kind of relationship we had, right? So, yeah, that was tough. You know, the worst thing was like being at home in my bedroom by myself, right? You know, being at work wasn't too bad. And you know, if I started getting to that point now, here, now here's even there, here even turns everything even crazier.

Speaker 2: 42:33

About six months before I got diagnosed, one of my best friends in New Zealand that owned a restaurant down on the waterfront, this Mexican cantina. We go down there every day and on the weekends drink beer, looking, you know, over the beach, over the water, hanging around. He got into a bad business deal. His restaurant went bankrupt and he went out into the woods on the other side of town and hung himself. So I have that going on in my head too, thinking I can't do't. Do you know how bad it hurts someone when they commit suicide, rather than just passing away? I mean just the the, the hurt that people feel. I mean you know, I mean I, I even felt guilty about it, you know, and you know, I mean we didn't see signs, we didn't know, I mean you know what, all this stuff. But you know, like we all felt terrible, we all felt guilty.

Speaker 2: 43:31

It was a sad, sad thing, and I'm like you know what, of all the things that I could do, that would be the worst thing I could do. I just, you know, that's the only thing stopping me, that's the only thing stopping me. And what I literally would do is you know, I'm like I got to get out of here or I'm going to do something, so I would just get myself, I would, I would, I would remove myself from, from the setting. Right, you know, and I knew, I knew where my bad place was.

Speaker 2: 43:57

You know, had a couple of bad spots and I had to limit my time there. So, you know, one of them was my bedroom, unfortunately, and, uh, you know if I spent too much time there so I would have to kind of block time out. You know, I'm going to go to work and spend this much time and then I'm going to go drive around in the truck for this much time and then I'm going to come home for an hour and then I'm going to go out to get dinner, you know, or you know, or I'm going to go eat at the park, or you know, whatever, whatever, you know. That's kind of how I managed. You know it within myself, I guess.

Speaker 1: 44:32

So were you staying active in other of course, not lower legs, but maybe upper body or were you staying active in regards to any physical activity, because that also, you know, releases a lot of chemicals in the brain that can help you.

Speaker 2: 44:51

I really I really wasn't able to with how, with how bad this leg was. I mean, you know, I mean my mind, my mind was like this right, I would. I would think, okay, you know, we got to the point like, where you could, you could go through the drive-thru, but you couldn't go in the restaurant. So at least you could do that, right, I would. So what I would do is, let's say I'm, you know, I'm gonna leave the factory. I'm going to find, I'm going to go somewhere where I can go through a drive-through so I don't have to get in and out of the car.

Speaker 2: 45:18

Because getting in and out of the car with this hip, I mean it is just, I mean the pain level, just, I mean like on a 12, a 12, like on a 10 scale, I mean just unbearable, and they won't give anything for it, you know. So I would plan you know I'm leaving work, I'm going through the drive-thru, I'm going to sit in my car, I'm going to eat, then I'm going to go buy somewhere where I can just drop the rubbish in the rubbish bin. Then when I get home, you know, I get out of the car, I'm going to wear my backpack, so I only have to come back and forth between the house one time. Right, I would put all those you know little trips and things together, you know, so I can minimize, you know, my movement.

Speaker 1: 46:04

But you know, sometimes it's like the head or the pain which one's going to going to give right, and it's like, well, if I stay here I'm not gonna feel any pain, so I gotta get out, you know and did you find anything that was able to help you with the pain that, um, is not addictive or as addictive or it's more natural, or did you try a bunch of stuff until you like, how did you, after you stop the methadone and stuff like that, how'd you kind of like, did you find any, any stuff? Did you try a bunch of things to try to manage the pain?

Speaker 1: 46:41

and I speak a lot about this, sorry to bring it back- no no, I don't mind at all because there's so many people living in pain. Yeah, and like, I follow somebody on I'm not going to mention who, but on Instagram that is going through a lot of pain and was asking for some solutions right To that pain and stuff like that. So maybe someone that's going through it be like okay. So you know, let me listen to this, let me see what he tried, let me see you know.

Speaker 2: 47:14

Yeah, what I, what I found, was a CBT, you know, kind of practice that really worked for me and that was get your, get your mind on something else, get focused on something else, because if you're not thinking about the pain, you don't necessarily feel it right. So one of my things was I would go to work If I could get myself and go to work. I get so involved, you know, with my team trying to make decisions and you know I'm caught up, you know, in this popcorn factory where we're making tens of thousands of bags a day. It's just mayhem, it's craziness. I can go there and get caught up in it and adjust my focus to that and I would forget about it, right, and then everybody goes home. You're sitting in there, you're sitting there by yourself and you ain't got anything to think about. You start thinking about the pain. So that's what I would do. You know I get it. I try to. You know, get around, people. Hang around, people. Get involved in something.

Speaker 1: 48:14

Distract myself is what I would do, you know. Yeah, okay, and were you able to try any like CBD supplements and stuff or any? Have you tried plant medicine? Have you tried anything out of the norm per se?

Speaker 2: 48:29

They don't really. They didn't really have that kind of. You know, I wasn't into that stuff in new zealand and they don't have any of that kind of. They don't have any of that really as an option in new zealand. But you know, the meditating stuff that helps.

Speaker 2: 48:40

You know, doing the body scan, the body scan thing helped, um, kind of relieve the pain and you know, I mean really it was like just try to try to distract myself. Really. You know, I mean really it was like just try to try to distract myself. Really. You know that's what I try to do and you know it was like anytime I moved, you know, if I was laying down and I wasn't moving, I was okay.

Speaker 2: 49:01

But trying to get into position to lay down, you know I'd aggravate everything. You know, and like I got to have my pillows, all right and you know, between my legs and one on the side and one under my butt, and it take me, you know, four or five minutes to get everything done. And then you know you aggravate everything and I lay there for a half hour and you know I just got into a process where I knew, right, it's like, well, this is going to happen, you're going to lay here for about 20 minutes and then the pain is going to kind of subside and then you can relax Right. So you have to go through that to get to where you need to go, get to where you mentally want to try to be, you know.

Speaker 1: 49:35

So how's your pain now?

Speaker 2: 49:38

It's OK. You know it's not near like it was, but you know I still have some pain. You know, I mean with this hip and everything, and you know it. I still have some pain but it's manageable. It's minimal compared to what it was. You know I'm all fixed up, I'm all sewed up. But yeah, you know, I think what happens over time is, you know kind of that median that you have it just moves, of that median that you have, it just moves. You know, and you've been in pain for so long that that you know some. That would be a lot for others.

Speaker 1: 50:16

Your pain threshold has?

Speaker 2: 50:17

Yeah, yeah, it's just going up yeah.

Speaker 1: 50:21

And sorry to get personal. You don't have to answer if you don't want to do. You have any um, any partner or kids or anything like that in your life?

Speaker 2: 50:31

uh, no, well, not, not at the moment, not at the moment. So yeah, I was a career guy, luckily I think that was kind of a blessing that you know I've never, you know, wasn't involved with anyone when that was going, when, when all the cancer thing was going on, and so, yeah, no kids, no kids.

Speaker 1: 50:46

So the reason I ask is is because I know it's a difficult process for you, but also your loved ones. I mean it's a lot on them.

Speaker 2: 50:55

Oh, I mean I, you know I I still deal with guilt about you know what I put my parents through. You know, and and it's you know it's not my fault but it kind of is my fault, you know. I mean it is, it is right, it's decisions that I made and things I have to take some responsibility. You know that. You know, for some of the things that you know I didn't do or did do to cause the cancer, right, I mean it didn't just show up, it didn't. So you know there was some things with my lifestyle that you know, probably you know helped to make me a higher percentage to get the cancer, you know. So, yeah, I mean it's just the, you know, my folks man, I mean it's it's put a lot on them, you know, and well, so to kind of finalize here, I want I have two, two questions that I think are going to be really useful for anyone listening.

Speaker 1: 51:51

One would be if you were to go back in time and you could have done anything different, what would that be, if there is anything at all? And the other one would be what are I don't know, just to say what are the top three things that the lessons or the gifts that you were able to obtain out of this experience?

Speaker 2: 52:16

Right, okay, so do you mean? Do you mean before the cancer? You know like what?

Speaker 1: 52:23

In general yeah, through your whole journey since being diagnosed up until now like top three things, top three lessons that you learned, or gifts that you kind of like the positives that you got out of it, or maybe maybe it's personal growth, spiritual growth or whatever. However, you want to focus about okay.

Speaker 2: 52:41

Yeah, I think one of the big things that I learned was I should have listened to my conscience more. I should have listened to that spirit inside me saying you know what, you're working too much, you need to take a break. You know you're sacrificing, going to the gym rather than you know you're working rather than going to the gym. You know you probably should have gone to the gym. You're eating. You're eating fast food instead of, instead of you know, taking some time to actually go have a meal, a proper meal. You know and these are just simple things, right, they're. You know that on that, on that particular kind of you know vein, how it works it's. It's with a lot of things that I wish I would have listened to my conscience more, right, and that's the you know. For me it's my conscience, the Holy Spirit, you know that that deal. One of the things you know and I'm quite passionate about this now and it's really kind of what I'm moving into is patient, self advocating, right that I just took what the doctor said. I just listened and I just thought these guys are the experts. You know, no one should have the authority to speak over your life, except for you and someone that you very, very highly trust. Right, because I was letting these doctors and I have no ill will towards them, they did the best they could. You know they see you for a few minutes, but how are you going to let somebody that you talk to for 10 or 15 minutes tell you you're going to die? You know they don't know me. And I took back my power, my empowerment, and I took back the power of making my own choices and saying you know what, thanks guys. You guys are a part of my decision. You are not the decision. I make the final decisions in my life, right? So I'm going to take on board what you said, I'm going to listen to it, but I'm going to. You guys don't know all. You know. I'm the only one that's been in this body 48 years going on in this head. I know what's going on more than anyone else.

Speaker 2: 54:55

So I wish that I would have clicked on to that sooner, right, and you know I wish that, and this kind of goes along with the conscience. I guess I wish I would have come back home sooner. I wish, I wish, I really wish I you know I've been told which is really hard to accept that if I would have had my surgery in the US, my leg wouldn't have been like that, I wouldn't be handicapped, I wouldn't have had to go through all this extra stuff that they would have had a plan, you know. I wouldn't have had to wait six months to get the surgery, I would have waited a couple of weeks, right. And I just, you know I did. And I have to go back, you know, with this, with this imbalance of things, and say you know what, at the time, me and my folks make the best decision with the information we had at the time, right.

Speaker 2: 55:58

So hindsight's 20-20, that whole thing, but gosh it's just, everybody knows that the best healthcare in the world is in the US. Why didn't I do that? I, you know, I. Just you know I regret that a bit.

Speaker 2: 56:13

So and I'll tell you, you know, one of the things that I learned. You know, you get these big goals out here, these big obstacles, these big things out here, friend, they're gigantic. Right, they were impossible. Less than a 5% chance to live. Everybody's dying all around you.

Speaker 2: 56:32

You know, with this pancreatic thing, you're not going to make it. Break it down into simple, simple little segments, right, and for me, I break it down into a day, and if I can't do that, I break it down to let's get to lunchtime, and then let's get to lunchtime, and then let's get to dinner, and then let's get to bed and let's try to make good decisions during that time. Let's make good decisions to get me to that point. So for me, and then it's simple, right, I've made a good. It's as simple as I chose to eat a good, I chose to eat a healthy meal, okay, instead of eating fast food crap, just, for example, right. Or I chose to go to the gym, or I chose to do some meditation, or go for a walk or do some grounding or anything, anything that could help me. I listened to a podcast rather than do something else. Right, I chose to do something with my time that was going to increase, in my mind, my chances of beating this. And if you put, if you win enough days.

Speaker 1: 57:41

The compound effect. Yeah right.

Speaker 2: 57:45

One other little thing that I, you know, maybe I kind of like this. This is kind of one of my hacks Very heavy conversations right, repeatedly on and off, about you're gonna die, you're gonna live, you're gonna take your leg, your limb, you know life, leg and limb.

Speaker 1: 58:03

Yes, it, give me a sec. Let me grab my, my dog. You hear him? Oh, it's like a cat rather than a dog. I don't, I don't know what I have. It's like a cat rather than a dog. I don't know what I have it's okay, no problem come here. My wife came to grab him, that's it.

Speaker 2: 58:21

He's too much, all right um, sorry about that, myself kind of out of this, out of this whole thing. And I said you know what we're gonna play the game of life and for me again.

Speaker 2: 58:35

Yeah, the game of life for me is football. I love football, football, you know. So I'm the quarterback. Everything, I equate everything to. You know. It's an analogy. You know, the coaches are the doctors, my teammates are the ones you know on the team are my friends. You don't make yardage every place. Sometimes you get sacked, you know. And when I get a touchdown, a touchdown is beating cancer, right. You make a couple of good decisions in a row, you get to reset, you get to try 10 more yards, you keep marching down the field. Golly, you know what, and it was me and the opponent is cancer, right, or the infection.

Speaker 2: 59:15

And doing it like that kind of really helped me to say you know what, I'm not going to win every play, but I can't think about the to win every play, but I don't. I can't think about the play I just had and I can't think about the next play. What matters is the play right now, which is today, the present. I've got to just win this one, because tomorrow doesn't matter if you can't get today. So you know, just some of that kind of simple things, kind of just. It helped me, you know, and compare it to something that you like, a game that you like or something or anything to take yourself out of that. And you know, if I didn't have an answer and I was confused, or you know, I'm just like I'm just spinning, spinning, spinning. What am I going to do?

Speaker 2: 59:58

I think you know my grandfather was one of my, one of you know the people that I I admired the most, loved the old guy. You know he's not with us any longer. It's been, it's been gone a long time, but I can just remember having conversations sitting on the patio with him in his rocking chair. You know, wise old bird man, you know we would just talk about things and I would think, if I can't make a decision for myself, what would happen if I was sitting here talking to my grandpa? What advice would he give me? What would he tell me to do? What would I be proud to tell him that I made a decision, that I did that Right? And you know some of those things is what got me through.

Speaker 1: 1:00:37

Wow, you know this has been such a deep episode of the podcast and I really hope it empowers other people. I believe your message should be heard all across the world. Um, it's a message of hope, a light at the end of the tunnel, and and you have that personality and that aura just all around you, that light you radiate and embody what you speak of. So I commend you for that, I thank you for that, and to me, I see God in you and speaking through you and flowing through you and giving that message as a testimony. Yeah, and it's, it's really amazing. I want to, I want to congrats. I know you don't need at this point in your life, any external you know approval of anything, but I, I'm really, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of of your journey, how brave you are, what an amazing soul that you are. I could I brave you are, what an amazing soul that you are.

Speaker 1: 1:01:44

I could I really feel that connection with you, even though we're a bit far away and and and I feel it in your energy and your vibration and your voice just you just speak all of that. Um. So thank you and I hope this serves anybody that's. It's going through a hard time. That just keep going. Stay in the present moment, one day at a time, you know. Like you said, make it to lunchtime, make it to dinner. Don't give up, I think would be the main message here.

Speaker 1: 1:02:07

Do not give up, regardless of the challenge. Last words oh sorry, I interrupted you, any last words or your services, um, you know, what are you doing now? After you went through that, like you know, um, did you find kind of like a bigger calling, did you finish that job and you're doing now something else Like how did you transition, or I don't know. Just tell me a little bit of kind of like where are you at today?

Speaker 2: 1:02:35

Absolutely. Yeah, you know, I just want, I want people to know, ok, that we've been talking about, you know, all these positive things and the in these tools and how I did that. I'm, I'm just a regular person like everybody else. Ok, there's nothing extra special about me and I still have bad days and I've still had some tough time, you know, and I'm coming off. I'm coming off, you know, a really, really tough time at the end of last year and the beginning of the year, with having to redo this whole hip and the medication I was on. I you know I slipped into a really bad depression. It was really hard on me, you know, with everything I had a lot of other things that just, you know, it was only so much. You know, I can take a couple, but, man, I had so many balls in the air at one time and so I do I still. I still battle. It's never over. And don't think that I have all the answers because we've come on here and talk about these positive things that have helped me, that you know I still struggle and I still have tough days and I still have those days where I'm just like I want to pull the covers over my head. I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to do anything. But you know what I don't do that I feel like I want to do that but I don't do that. I make the choice to get out of bed, put my pants on, get out the door right and go, put myself in the right position to receive what I'm asking for and what I want, right. So you know. I just wanted to say that I've sold the popcorn business. That's done. You know that was a blessing. It needed to go. It needed to be managed by someone in New Zealand and blossom into the beautiful big thing it's going to be. So I've moved into.

Speaker 2: 1:04:14

I believe that the Lord has given me a way out to tell my story. That's what I want to do and I want to give people hope and inspiration and say you know what? Just don't ever give up. If you get tired, take a time out, but don't ever quit. I'm developing some patient advocate courses. You know I do patient advocate and cancer journey coaching. Now I do speaking at things. You know I'm speaking at our cancer banquet coming up, you know, in a couple of weeks, and I do major volunteer work with our local cancer thing. I just believe, in supporting my local society, that they had free counseling with them and yoga and all the things, and so I'm in good enough shape to give back to them. So that's what I, you know, and I think that that's my calling.

Speaker 2: 1:05:01

Now I'm here. I'm not here to go sell popcorn anymore. I'm here to say look, you know my bad days, look at how bad it got. But I didn't give up and I could have and I wanted to and I should have, and I had no chance and everybody counted me out, but you know who didn't. I didn't count myself out. My parents stayed with me. You know I had the Lord with me. I had major people praying for me and you know I'm here.

Speaker 2: 1:05:28

So if anybody needs any help, they want to talk to me or anything. My website's there trentbrockcoachingcom. You can book a few minutes with me, you can send me an email, whatever. You know I'm just happy to help. I'm just happy to help people. You know, I know what it feels like. I've been there. I've been through almost all those things that can happen so I can relate. And you know I'm not a certified you know medical practitioner or provider or anything, but I have been on this side of like over 100 doctor's appointments, 25 surgeries, 10 months in the hospital, two different medical systems I know what it's like to be on this side of the knife, okay, and I'll tell you what it's.

Speaker 1: 1:06:13

My friend, you're certified in life. There's no, you don't need a certificate for that, you're proof of that.

Speaker 2: 1:06:18

Yeah, yeah, appreciate it, you know. Thank you so much for allowing me to come on. You know, and share and reach some people. You know your guests, you know I, your listeners I don't know them, right, and we have to reach some people that we haven't, and that's what it's all about, right? What it's all about Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 1:06:36

Thank you so much for sharing with the world, with others that are in need now, and I'm really happy that you're in that position to be able to give back while you're still working on yourself learning, you know, we all are just still working on ourselves, still a daily battle. We're still expanding learning, walking together Right.

Speaker 2: 1:06:57

I just let me say this one thing I just noticed you had that butterfly on the back of your, behind you I was. I got to co-author a book with a group of people that you know had. You know they had a big traumatic experience in their lives and you know. Then they've gotten over it. I got to co-author this little book here. It's called Breaking the Silence Voices of Survivors. Okay, I've got a chapter in here and there's a lot of good. There's a lot of great stories in here with other people that have beaten all sorts of stuff, and you can order it from me if you want to. You can send me an email if you want it. I'll give you a signed copy or you can buy it off Amazon if you like. I just think that's cool that there's a butterfly there and a butterfly here.

Speaker 1: 1:07:41

Yeah, the butterfly. It's part of my soul mission after my near-death experience. So to me it's very dear to my heart and it's a way of spirit. You know speaking and giving little synchronicities and signs away. Just like you see how you pulled out your book and you mentioned it by seeing that. Just like you see how you pulled out your book and you mentioned it by seeing that, are you before we leave, are you working on your own story, on your own book, or is that in the works or in the future, in the near future?

Speaker 2: 1:08:10

Yeah, yeah, you know I have a really I have a rough draft of kind of my story because, you know, with five or six pages it's just kind of hitting a few of the hot points. And I actually the lady that organizes this, michelle Jewsberry she's doing the second volume, so I'm doing a chapter in that book as well. So eventually, when I quit writing for stuff like that, I think I'm going to do mine. But you know I'm really keen. I'm working on my business. You know my website's up and you know I'm open for business. So you know I'm kind of working on that and I think towards the end of the year I'd like to maybe work on my own book. You know it's a big project and that's a really big project, you know.

Speaker 1: 1:08:53

It is. I took a year to write my. I did a co-author book as well. That's how I started to get my feet wet, see how that feels and learn tons of it from the process, and so writing my own was a lot easier. Like I would say, if I wouldn't have done that co-author one, I would have. It would have been really hard for me. Yeah, it took me a year too. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:09:17

Wow, wow, yeah. So I know that's going to kind of take me out from doing, you know, some of the stuff that I'm kind of concentrating on right now. So it's in the works, it's going to have to happen eventually.

Speaker 1: 1:09:28

You know, there are no coincidences that I said this here, it's a little, a little, a little push from the universe.

Speaker 2: 1:09:36

Exactly, I love it. I love it, yeah, no doubt.

Speaker 1: 1:09:39

It is a pleasure to have had you here on the podcast. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 1:09:43

Thank you so much, appreciate it.