Alan Gompers- From Maximum Security to the True Meaning of Freedom!

Alan Gompers is a nationally recognized author, insightful lecturer, expert on recidivism, mentor to at-risk youth, and beloved authority on meditation and Self-Actualization. Prior to his startling transformation in prison, Alan’s insatiable need for recognition and power drove him to make and lose fortunes on Wall Street, betray family and friends, and become an extraordinarily successful real estate developer. Arrested while selling drugs to an undercover informer, he was given a 15-year-to-life sentence. Within the forbidding confines of a maximum security prison, he experienced what had eluded him his entire life: perfect freedom and unshakable contentment.

Contact Alan:
Website: alangompers.com
E-mail: alangomp1protonmail.com@proton.me

Chapters

• 0:56 Transformative Power of Meditation in Prison
• 13:51 Journey From Fear to Success
• 28:47 Unveiling the Truth Behind Meditation
• 48:56 Understanding Divine Presence and Meditation
• 59:01 Experiencing God's Presence Through Meditation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:56

Hi Alan, how are you? Welcome to Quantum Alchemist Master Podcast. It's a pleasure to have you here today.

Speaker 2: 1:03

It's all mine, my dear. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 1:07

You're welcome. So Alan and I met through a mutual friend. I want to thank a moment to Dr Tara for introducing us. So I'm very, very grateful to have come across you. Alan, your story is absolutely fascinating, empowering your meditation sessions. I've done meditation with you. It was so wonderful, beautiful journey. But your story, it is absolutely a testament to the hero's journey, our human journey here on earth, the journey that our soul goes through. I would love for you to share whatever you feel called to share today about your own journey today, to share whatever you feel called to share today about your own journey today?

Speaker 2: 2:02

Sure, thank you for those sweet words, but you know it's really interesting on spiritual path I'm sure I'm talking to the choir when I say this is that the journey is not something we do. It's not something we do. It's something that I find that what we are searching for is already there and it gets covered up by the machinations of the mind. Thought itself acts like clouds covering the sun, so that the sun is always there, but the clouds prevent us from experiencing its light and its warmth and its love. And the process of meditation is the way in which the universe gives us a way in which to connect with that deeper part of ourselves, and that, for me, has been the transformational process of my journey.

Speaker 2: 3:07

And we talk you know I'm going to talk a little bit about my experience in prison and all of that, but when we spoke the last time, rosie, I shared with you a letter that I had received because I started doing a lot of prison work, going around the country after myself got out of prison and visiting inmates in men's and women's prisons everywhere in Canada and all over the United States, because I wanted to give back to the prison system, which had given me so much, which is kind of an oxymoron, but it was a place where my inner energy, what we call Shaktipat energy my inner energy, what we call Shaktipat energy was awakened in me and I had a transformational experience that literally changed my life forevermore. And I believe the first time we spoke, I had shared a letter that I had received from an inmate in a maximum security prison, and it was a very powerful letter. I have another one that I wanted. It's all about meditation, but his experience before I share my own. I think this is a great way in which to create an inspiration for your listeners and for all of us.

Speaker 2: 4:37

I think Absolutely. I think Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 4:40

I would love if you could share that absolutely.

Speaker 2: 4:43

Yeah, I'm so happy too, because you know one of the most powerful letters that we've received, and we've received thousands of them over the years. But anyway, this is what he said and I'm quoting the letter verbatim. I spoke with my attorney today, after 17 years on death row, and he informed me that the US Supreme Court turned down everything he filed with them. I'd expected this, but I can now approach the play of my destiny with a smile, knowing that simply because this is the last curtain call of this incarnation, it doesn't mean that the entire drama is over. My attorney was sad, but I tried to lessen the blow for him. Imagine that he's trying to, you know, help his own attorney and he's facing the death sentence. But anyway, he said, I tried to lessen the blow for him by telling him that I'd come to terms with this years ago and that I'm now ready.

Speaker 2: 5:55

I assured him that if the appointed time has come for me to leave, if God is truly calling me home, then there is nothing anyone can do to keep me here.

Speaker 2: 6:08

I also assured him that I understood how hard he'd fought for me over the years and that he shouldn't feel bad or be sad that it didn't work out other than it did.

Speaker 2: 6:23

I've taken this same approach with my family and other loved ones, letting them know that I am ready for him, ready for this, that we all must leave these bodies one day.

Speaker 2: 6:36

But when we leave, where we leave and how we leave is up to God. But I smiled at my destiny, hoping that it would somehow, through the grace of meditation, touch all those involved in my life and soften the blow to their hearts. I say this only to illustrate that, if it weren't for meditation and the grace of my guru, my meditation master, a lot of people would be hurting far more than they are now, and for this I am eternally grateful. It is through meditation and the grace of my guru that I am able to step to the threshold by destiny with a smile and enter the door that leads to the stage on which the next play be acted out. I am so grateful for this blessing, to have this opportunity, grateful for this blessing to have this opportunity to prepare for the great transition from this realm of existence to the next, and, of this I am certain, with great love and joy, james. Wow, that was so powerful.

Speaker 2: 7:59

Wow, that was so powerful.

Speaker 2: 8:05

And you know, what's amazing about this is the geography where this took place.

Speaker 2: 8:06

Most people that I've come across and maybe you have as well look at prison as a place of punishment, of oppression, of loneliness, violence, whatever. And the people who have found meditation one way or another in prison have found a way in which to transform their lives. And you know, when you look historically at all of the great beings that ever walked the planet, from Gandhi, from Martin Luther King, from Mohammed I mean the list goes on and on they all served time. From Mohammed I mean, the list goes on and on, they all served time, they all found themselves in prison, even the South African Mandela 28 years, and yet he came out and he transformed his whole country and his people that the place of prison can be a place of sanctuary with the right understanding. And that's what these inmates who found meditation found out for themselves the grace of these beings that they connected to while they were in prison, who introduced them to meditation that is so beautiful, alan, thank you so much for sharing that letter.

Speaker 1: 9:47

Every time you share a letter with me, I feel almost like as if it had a healing inside of me. I don't know if it makes any sense, but it's just very powerful. So thank you so much for sharing that and I hope that it can change in the positive the life of some of our listeners. It's a very, very powerful letter for some of our listeners, um, it's a very, very powerful letter. Thank you so much, um. Are you able to share a?

Speaker 2: 10:27

little bit about your journey that does it feel like a oh sure, absolutely. Um, how much time do we have today?

Speaker 1: 10:32

well, there's not, you know, a set time. Typically our episodes are somewhere anywhere between, I guess, 30 minutes to an hour, but there's no a set time. Typically our episodes are somewhere anywhere between, I guess, 30 minutes to an hour, but there's no actual set time. We can just have a conversation, kind of see where it goes and when it feels right to kind of end it. It doesn't have to be yeah, scripted or set on stone.

Speaker 2: 11:10

Okay, well, I think you know, on the spiritual path they refer to these great souls, these great beings, these s pain and suffering, and they connected to you. Know that word God can be interpreted? You know, if you asked a hundred people what the word meant, you'd probably get 50 to 100 different answers. Everybody seems to have their own take on what it is, but the masters are not. They're very, very finite in the way they describe what the word God means, and they talk about it in terms of enlightenment, liberation, of love, of wisdom, of empowerment, whatever that is not temporary but eternal, and that every living being on the planet, in some way or another, is connected to the same energy and there is no other. So that when we use the term God, we are all that. We're not part of God. We are all that we're not part of God. We are God, and that's a difficult one to understand without the experience that we have. Through the spiritual path, through meditation and through the grace of a master who's already attained it, they easily wake up that energy inside of us, and the issue is all focused on the mind, which I'll get into in a moment. That quieting the mind is the answer to tapping into that part of us that is forever. You know, I had a guru. He passed some time ago and was replaced by Guru Mai, who was a. She took over for him, but as an enlightened being she received the same energy. But anyway, he always used to say that God dwells within you as you. There is no other. In all the spiritual texts from the East the Yoga, vashista and the Guru Gita and all of these great texts they all talk about the word God as an eternal being that encapsulates everything and everyone, and that we are all part of that, not only part of it. We are that and that's the whole. Idea of the spiritual path is to connect with it.

Speaker 2: 13:51

And I remember, rosie, when I was a little boy, I was left alone in my house. My parents had gone out and I just kind of like began to, you know, snoop around, something I shouldn't have been doing, but I did. And there was always in my mother's room. She always had a drawer where she kept all kinds of stuff, I would call it, and it was kind of a sanctuary for her and she didn't want anybody to look in there, but I did. And when I opened the drawer I found at the very top, a whole bunch of black and white photographs. And at the top, the photograph on the top was a little boy, maybe four or five years old. His shoulders were all slumped over and his face was, all you know, contracted in the saddest, loneliest expression that I could have imagined. And as I stood looking at the photo, tears began to well up in my eyes and I realized that that little boy was me and that, even more so, that the feelings that were projected from my face as a little boy complete sadness and unhappiness and fear was the way I had felt all my life. And at that time, maybe, I was 12 or 13 years old and it scared me to death to think that I might spend the rest of my life living in those horrendous, insidious feelings, those horrendous, insidious feelings. And as I looked at that picture again, this fear welled up inside me. And you know, rosie, the word fear is always looked at, as you know, a very contracted, powerful, you know, negative feeling.

Speaker 2: 15:58

But what I came to learn in those initial phases of my life was that fear was also a very powerful driving force that moved our lives, when we weren't aware of where it was coming from, because it all comes from that same place, of where it was coming from, because it all comes from that same place, and in that moment I wanted to find a way in which to end those horrible feelings. And so, as a preteen, what you did in those days is, you know, I grew up in the Bronx and everything centered around your friends being accepted, being looked at and having recognition. It didn't matter how good looking you were, how much money your parents had, it was the game, was basketball of all things, basketball of all things. And when you got out onto the court wanting to gain that recognition and acceptance, it mattered how good you were. Everything else just fell away. And I tried so hard, I competed so hard to be good, to win. And that was the first time in my life that I realized that, in the act of wanting to compete to win, it became a. It actually stopped my mind and I became extremely focused on what I was doing.

Speaker 2: 17:41

And I went into this state where the fear was gone. I wasn't afraid and I had no all I, all I knew was I focused everything on what I was doing. It was kind of a waking meditation, which I didn't have any idea. Um, but it was bliss, it was absolute. I just loved doing it because it made me feel so good and it also got me accepted with my friends and family and everybody else who came out to watch. But at the end of the day I had to go home. But at the end of the day I had to go home. When I got home and I got into my house, all the old feelings of loneliness and fear and depression and unhappiness came roaring back and I would climb into bed with covers over my head and cry myself to sleep every night.

Speaker 2: 18:44

Wow, it was. You know, so I would. You know. Naturally, the game of basketball came for me, a sanctuary of sorts, and so I became addicted to wanting to play, wanting to win, wanting to gain that sense of feeling, you know, happy and free. But invariably the minute I stopped and left for the day, it all came back again. There was nothing lasting in it. And I remember one day, as I was walking home, I lived in a place called Parkchester in the Bronx, and it was a 60,000, you know population of families middle, you know middle class families, and they were connected building by building. You know 12, 15 stories. And I remember walking through the hall connecting two buildings.

Speaker 2: 19:48

One day, as I was on my way home and as I walked into the hall, it was like a giant soundstage. You could actually hear my feet as they clumped on the floor of the concrete. I had these leather shoes and as I looked up, at the end of the hall there was this group of teenagers, maybe five of them, and one of them raised his hand and as he brought it down, it was like him leading a symphony orchestra. But then they began to sing Five-part harmony, a cappella. No instruments, just voices. It was the most beautiful melody and harmony and sound I'd ever heard in my life. I was mesmerized.

Speaker 2: 20:39

And after I heard them sing, they sang a song called A Sunday Kind of Love and the lyrics just blew me away. The initial words were I want a Sunday kind of love, a love that will last when Mondays are cold. And those words they just the hair on my arms just stood up and I said I've got to find a way in which to continue listening to that kind of music. I'd never heard anything like it before. I'd never heard anything like it before and I began to realize that on the street corners in the Bronx at that time, back in the 50s, it seemed everywhere you went groups like that were forming.

Speaker 2: 21:31

They called it doo-wop rock and roll, but it was all about love and harmony and relationships, and it was just. I just couldn't get enough and I longed to form my own group and several months later I found four other guys who were interested in doing the same thing and we formed a group called the Montclair's and we began to, you know, make records, perform in shows around town and, um, when we would be on stage, I would hear the people in the audience. They would applaud and and and stand up and cheer. They just loved the sound. And it was another way. It was like playing basketball. It was another way in which that feeling of ecstasy just welled up inside me and the happiness that came from it. For the moments I was doing and singing, all the unhappiness and loneliness and depression just evaporated. And one day, one of the guys in the group came over to me and he said hey, alan, we just got hired to do a show at a Sweet Sixteen party, and you won't believe it, but the girl whose Sweet Sixteen party is, she's absolutely gorgeous. And we sang at the party and, as it would happen, the girl fell in love with one of the guys in my group and that guy was me.

Speaker 2: 23:16

Two years later we were married. We had our first baby. Life was me. Two years later we were married. We had our first baby. Life was sweet. I was living in a place where I wasn't lonely anymore and frightened, and I felt connected for the first time. And it lasted for two years and then one day she got up. She left the baby with her and it was almost two years before I saw the baby again and then 20 years before she came back into my life. Wow.

Speaker 2: 23:54

I thought I was about to die because back, as you know, back came all of the pain and suffering. Fortunately, somehow one of the guys that I knew, I decided to go back to school. I was teaching at the time and I went back to school to get my master's degree and I met a couple of guys I grew up with and they seemed so carefree and happy and it was infectious, and they used to make fun of me and tell me you're sorry now, you're always unhappy, what's wrong with you, life's great. And they would cajole me into wanting to change my life. And when I was around them, it made me feel good and again the good feelings would come back. And what would happen was one day we decided to enter the world of finance. They were saying that if we make enough money, all our troubles, all our unhappiness, everything will disappear and we'll be on top of the world. And we can do that.

Speaker 2: 25:15

And two years later, rosie, the skies opened up and millions of dollars this is back in the 60s began to pour down all over us. We started a brokerage house that became one of the largest brokerage houses in the country. Over-the-counter brokerage houses in the country, over-the-counter brokerage houses and just you know I couldn't even begin to tell you how incredibly amazing our lives had become, so beyond everything else. After that, I got into real estate. Then I became a boxing promoter and everything they seemed to touch became successful and made more money than I could ever dream possible. But instead of being happy and successful which I was materialistically I fell into the deepest state of depression I had ever been in my whole life and thoughts of suicide actually rained through my head. I'm familiar with that.

Speaker 2: 26:34

What's that?

Speaker 1: 26:35

I said I'm familiar with that.

Speaker 2: 26:38

Yeah, I hear you. And it just kept spiraling downward and I didn't know what to do. So what happened was it led me to drugs and and as I began using drugs, it led me to dealing drugs because I was no longer working or making money or anything like that, but I still had made a lot of money in the market and real estate. But it was about the drugs gave me a feeling of being high and took away temporarily again the feelings of despair and depression and fear. And it got to a point where I came home one night and I started selling drugs too. And I came home one night and there was the police waiting for me. They came pouring out of the woods, stroll cars with their lights blaring and sirens blaring, pulled up behind me and surrounded me and a hand reached out and drew me down on the hood of a police car. And I remember the voice, rosie, as clearly as I remember the voice, rosie, as clearly as I remember anything in my life, and it said into my ear you are in more trouble than you've ever been in your life. I felt the energy just drain out of my feet and into the ground and I lay helplessly on the car, I was taken to a police station down in Manhattan in New York.

Speaker 2: 28:33

I was booked and then somehow I was released on bail. I got an attorney, I got out on bail. An attorney, I got out on bail, and a year later I stood in front of a judge as he sentenced me 15 years to life. I had absolutely no idea, other than the word life, what I was facing, and when I first arrived in prison, I found myself out in the prison yard facing over 2,000 inmates Most of them were lifers. Rosie, I was scared to death.

Speaker 1: 29:12

How old were you? If you don't mind me asking.

Speaker 2: 29:14

What's that?

Speaker 1: 29:15

How old were you when you first went in? I was 40. 40, wow Okay.

Speaker 2: 29:22

Yep, yep, and it was like those first 40 years in my life was a horror show. It was like everything that I had ever touched in my life. I became successful at Money, sex and rock and roll, whatever. It all worked on the outside, but underneath those feelings were these horrible feelings of loneliness, despair and fear, and they played over and over and over like a broken record inside me, no matter how much money I made, no matter how much love came in my life, no matter how many friends I had, it didn't matter. The outside seemed to be completely disconnected to the feelings I had inside.

Speaker 2: 30:15

When I got busted and I was sent to a maximum security prison, upstate, with a sentence of 15 years to life, there was over 2,000 inmates, most of them lifers out in the yard, most of them with nothing to lose, and I'm scared out of my mind. I don't know what to do. And I remember walking to the farthest part of the compound where there was a building and it was as far away from the mainstream media inmates that I could get, and I sat down up against the wall, I closed my eyes, my legs crossed and spontaneously I fell into a state of meditation. Now, the thing was.

Speaker 2: 31:07

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I never meditated before. I didn't even know what meditation was. And after some time maybe 20 minutes, half hour, I don't even remember my eyes opened. I looked around and I realized that word realized became a mantra. It breaks down to meaning being with real eyes, being the truth. You know they call these enlightened masters self-realized. They see the wisdom and the truth beyond anything that they're faced with. And I realized that my experience of the prison, my sentence, my inner state had completely changed.

Speaker 1: 32:12

The fear was gone. I felt lighter and freer beyond anything I had ever experienced in my life before. Could I ask a couple questions here? Sure, sure, sure, thank you. So meditation I don't know if you concur or not, but you can answer after. In my opinion, it varies the way people experience meditation. For example, did it differ when you first started meditating versus your meditations now? Um, any form of I mean sources you know, I see it as all that is, but you know, any form of consciousness that was able to come forward with any messages that were guiding you um through this challenging part of your journey? Um, if you're able to share anything like that, or how, how has your meditation evolved um throughout time?

Speaker 2: 33:21

your meditation evolved throughout time? Oh, that's a great question and a profoundly important one, because the the expectations of people and perceptions of people are so varied and so different. But I, you know, you know there's a great saying in yoga that you can only get as high as your teacher and that the truth is not something that varies with time. Truth is absolute. Amen. That when we touch it, when we experience it, we know there's nothing else. It's like that with love. When you fall in love, you know there is no other experience, there's nothing else going on. Love just encaptures everything, it's all-encompassing. And you know, to understand what meditation truly is is to let go of what we think it is. And again, that word think is the mind getting in the way of the experience.

Speaker 2: 34:40

And that word think is the mind getting in the way of the experience. And what meditation is is not a practice, it's not something we do. Meditation at the ultimate level is the state of being. I love that.

Speaker 1: 34:59

I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2: 35:02

I love that. Well, it's also the truth, because, you know, when we experience love, there's nothing else going on. When we have an epiphany, there's nothing else going on. When we fall in love, there's nothing else going on. It's the times that we are not in that state that we say, well, meditation takes us only so far. Meditation has nothing to do with that.

Speaker 2: 35:30

Meditation is the state of God, it's the state of the self, it's the state of the universe. It's the state of the universe, it's the state of the eternal presence. That is everything. There's nothing that's not God. And so everything that we see in yoga they call the material universe maya, which means illusion. And they call it maya illusion because it is temporary, it has an expiration date and therefore, no matter how much we use the external world to gain happiness or freedom or love or success or recognition or anything, it is here and it's gone. How can anybody find anything lasting in a place that's temporary? The material world around us? But when we get in the state of meditation, when we get in the state of love, when we get in the state of wisdom, when we get in the state of liberation, they're all synonyms, they all mean the same thing, and that God, the Guru, self, truth, wisdom, love. They are all the same. They arise out of the same place, which is everything.

Speaker 1: 37:16

That is absolutely beautiful. Could I?

Speaker 2: 37:19

ask you, go ahead.

Speaker 1: 37:21

I'm sorry well, I love that you said that everything is God and there's nothing but that, and I love that. But just for the sake of our listeners and to kind of brainstorm a little bit when it comes to, I guess you would say you know I don't know if that's the word I want to use but you know more of the shadow side, the negative, the devil, the. You know that, that other aspect, if you want to, that other polarity, um, how would you, how have you come to to understand or reconcile with that opposing force?

Speaker 2: 38:17

Well, you know that's. That's wonderful to hear you say that Because, again, it is very difficult to understand the truth when you're living in a perception that's conditional. Mm-hmm, love is unconditional. Mm-hmm, in a perception that's conditional Love is unconditional God is unconditional. And you know, muktananda, my guru, used to say if you're not giving love in the world, what is it?

Speaker 2: 38:56

that you're giving. Wow, and if you're not receiving love in the world, what is it that you're receiving? So when we receive something that's negative, it has to be conditional, because it's here and it's gone. It's temporary, and when we get married and we fall in love, we want it to be forever. Our dreams as human beings is eternal. We don't want it to end. We get afraid because we're afraid it's going to end, because we have no experience of what is lasting, other than the moments that we have no experience of what is lasting, other than the moments that we have those experiences. We think they're coming from outside, when they're not. They're coming from within us.

Speaker 1: 39:54

Could I, sorry, go ahead, go ahead. Well, I was going to say a parenthesis in that, because you're saying they're coming from within us. So, for example, with these conditioning, just to kind of stay in the realm of that other negative polarity which should also, in my opinion, place a purpose yeah, absolutely in my opinion, plays a purpose. But yeah, to me everything plays a purpose of the whole ecosystem to kind of. But anyway, you know, to me a lot of these things could also be perceptions, not only of the individual conditioning, whether it's fears, limitations, et cetera, or the collective belief of any particular identity or kind of like, like, kind of we we feed into that idea or into those we feel the fire of, whatever form we perceive that other thing could be. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 41:08

What is a belief?

Speaker 1: 41:10

Oh, I love that. I've never been asked that. A conditioning, an illusion.

Speaker 2: 41:18

Well, of course, it's a thought, it's a thought, it's a thought.

Speaker 2: 41:22

And the mind has no basis in anything lasting. That's why beliefs are Sunday morning breakfast and Monday morning's lunchtime. They change, they have no power, no lasting quality to them and, as a result, we cannot rely on them and therefore we become frustrated. And you know how the spiral works after that Frustrated despair, loneliness, depression, fear. And the list goes on and on. And, as all of the great sages tell us that the mind is the only thing in the way of experiencing the eternal quality of who we truly are, and when the mind is quiet, what is left is God. I love that what is left is love.

Speaker 1: 42:18

You know I was just going to say A Course in Miracles says something to the effects of nothing, but love is real, it's true, yeah, so kind of like everything. Like you know, a lot of people want to have their truth or their God, be the one universal truth or the one God, and just focusing, rather than a particular identity of whatever form or thought you imagine that to be more just to focus it on love in general. More just to focus it on love in general, kind of like values, virtues that we can kind of focus more on as a species. You know the qualities of God, rather than if you're right or I'm right or you're God, my God, type of thing. You know.

Speaker 2: 43:22

Well, you know, it's so important to begin our search by saying to ourselves no matter what comes up, we begin our dive into the inner being by understanding and saying to ourselves I begin by saying I am God. In the scriptures it says I am, that I am, I am God, there is no other. Once you say that, everything becomes benevolent. And that is such an incredibly important perception, Because when you say to yourself and you begin to understand that, you begin to realize that no matter what comes to you, no matter what is happening, no matter how you perceive it, it is all based on God's grace. And think about this for a moment. When something gets too hot, what do we do?

Speaker 2: 44:38

get away from it yeah, if, if you turn on the uh, on the flame in the on your stove and you stick your hand in, what's the first instinct?

Speaker 2: 44:49

you have to take it out exactly so the pain that we call uh suffering or pain, becomes the opportunity, because it prevents us from staying asleep, because if we're asleep and we don't experience the pain, we will light ourselves up in flames. And the universe, being benevolent, says I'm not going to let you do that. I have created the pain and suffering so that you take your hand out of the fire and you begin to move from your head to your heart.

Speaker 1: 45:35

That's beautiful. Yeah, throughout my journey I've come look at um even the hardest challenges as opportunities, kind of like um changing the perception and it's a little bit too of what the a course in miracles shares to kind of change the lens of how we look at life and the events that happen to us. Um, so definitely kind of like shifting. That at least makes the journey a little bit more enduring, a little bit lighter.

Speaker 1: 46:08

So let me ask you this oh sorry, Go ahead. I was going to ask for how long were you actually in jail for? Like how many years?

Speaker 2: 46:22

Well you know, can I share a little quick story with? You Sure sure, Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 46:29

One day I'm out in the yard and you know I'm meditating out in the yard, which I did every day, Whether it rained, whether it snowed, it didn't matter. I just that was it. And you know, after a while the inmates cleared out an area, Believe it or not. They cleared out an area where I used to sit for meditation and nobody would put a blanket there because it was like a big athletic field out there and you know, they would, you know, put their blankets out and they'd take out something to eat or whatever they did on a nice day or whatever. But when I started meditating out there, nobody put a blanket within 20 yards, 30 yards of where I used to meditate. It became a spot. It wasn't that they were avoiding it, they were honoring it Because the energy would build up.

Speaker 2: 47:33

And when I would come out of meditation and stand up and begin to move around, they would all kind of look at me and smile. For the most part that they were, they were just acknowledging that something really magical was going on for me and it was making them feel good. And I and it was confirmed by some of the inmates would come up to me and go hey, what is it that you're doing? It looks so peaceful, you look so happy, blah, blah, blah blah. And these guys are doing life. And I began to realize that they were all looking for the same thing, Even if they were ornery characters, that when they came, you know, in contact with that grace, with that Shakti it wasn't me, it was the Shakti that I was getting closer to. That was kind of radiating out. It's like being around somebody who's very loving, you feel really good. When you're being around somebody who's angry and violent, you want to get the hell out of there. Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 48:40

And I was getting that kind of vibe from wherever I went and I started a meditation class and they gave me a room in the school and I had 50 guys on the waiting list and 25 was the limit that they could work. And the warden of the prison got wind of what I was doing and he came over to me one day and he said you know, whatever you're doing, keep doing it, because it's having an impact on the whole prison. And it was, you know. When he said that to me, I was, you know. I felt really glad that he said that, not so much because I realized that what I wanted to do is I wanted to help people. It was something that was happening spontaneously.

Speaker 2: 49:29

Anyway, one day I hear my name called over the loudspeaker and it said Gompers, ada 2139. That was my number. Please report to the warden's office. He wants to see you. And I said, my goodness, what did I do now? That was my first thought and I realized that I had no skeletons in my closet anymore and that I couldn't conceive of being called for. You know, some negative thing, although I had no idea what it was and I wasn't afraid at all because I felt very clear about who I was in those moments.

Speaker 2: 50:08

And when I got up to the warden's office. There he was, rosie standing outside of his office pacing up and down like he was about to have a baby. And the minute he saw me, his face lit up and he made his way over to me. I didn't even walk towards him, he just ran over to me and he held out his hand. He said, mr Gompers, so good to see you. Come into my office. We need to talk.

Speaker 2: 50:38

And so I went into his office and I sat down down opposite him and he looked at me and he said how long have you been in prison? I said at the time I'd been about three or four years. And he said you know, you've been granted executive clemency by the governor of New York. Wow, and he stood looking at me, anticipating me jump out of my seat, scream and yell and jump up and go into an ecstatic moment.

Speaker 2: 51:16

But you know I wasn't looking for anything, nor did I feel I needed anything. I acknowledged the fact that this was a good thing, but you know, it didn't matter to me. I felt completely relaxed and at home with who I was and I wasn't looking for anything. At any rate, he stood looking at me like I was out of my mind. He expected me to go crazy and I didn't. And I just walked up to him and I said Warden, thank you so much, I appreciate this. And he handed me a letter and I walked out the room with him scratching his head and as I walked back towards my cell, all of a sudden this wave of fear came wafting up inside me, something I hadn't experienced for almost two years since.

Speaker 2: 52:10

I started the meditation and I realized that I could be going home the next day. You ready for this? I? Didn't want to go the next day. You ready for this? I? Didn't want to go.

Speaker 2: 52:30

I wasn't expecting that. It wasn't the prison that I wanted, it was the time, which was another oxymoron. Oxymoron, imagine most people that I knew, and especially myself, grew up with the understanding that time was the worst enemy, because one day it was all going to end. I was behind it all, but time was always a beginning and an end. And I had this time in prison that was no longer my enemy, it was no longer punishment, but time had become my friend and I realized that I wanted more time so that I could continue to work on my meditation, so that I got to a place where nothing or no one could ever undermine my freedom again. And when I got back to my cell, I sat down on my bed and I opened the letter and the clemency order said that I had been granted not a pardon but a reduction, a reduction from 15 to life to six to life. Wow.

Speaker 2: 53:43

And as I sat on my bed and I just pondered it for a moment, I realized that I had just been given a gift for three years. Not a sentence, but a gift, because it gave me the time where I, when I finally would get out, I would be in a place where nothing could take it from me and as I sat there looking. My cell had a window with bars on it and it overlooked these beautiful mountains. If you ever saw my book, that was the picture I saw. And.

Speaker 2: 54:20

I'm looking out over the mountains and I hear this voice and I close my eyes and the voice said Alan, it is not about getting out, it's about getting free. You're not there yet. Behind these walls, you can hear my voice.

Speaker 1: 54:44

That's beautiful and, as I understand it, also, after you got out, you still volunteered in some of the prisons to continue teaching. This Is that plus your book, yeah to this day, this day.

Speaker 2: 55:06

Okay, yeah, I still go into prisons and I still, um, you know, I, I still teach, I still have a well-being and a life coaching practice, meditation teaching practice.

Speaker 2: 55:17

So, um, and it gives me so much joy to have people who are looking for some kind of respite in their life because, whether they're suffering biologically or psychologically or emotionally or whatever, or spiritually, you know, it gives me an opportunity to share with them what we're talking about today and to teach people you know what meditation is and how to meditate, and what the object of meditation is, and not some practice that's here and gone. You know, it's like somebody does an hour of meditation and the next thought is what's for lunch? That's not going anywhere. The state of meditation is something that exists inside of us all the time, whether we get the directions through what we see and hear, or we get the directions because we're busy up in our head. We get the directions because everything is benevolent and, in the end, in the end, it's all going to be benevolent, it's all going to work out well, thank you for those words.

Speaker 1: 56:39

I I needed, I know I needed to hear those. So thank you for that. And just to kind of wrap up, we're going to leave for everybody in the description of the podcast how to contact you and your services, so that way they kind of have a better breakdown and know where to reach you. Have a better breakdown, um, and and know where to reach you. Um, but just to kind of finalize um, how do you, how have you come to understand um, the Holy spirit and Jesus, kind of like? Um you know a lot of people talk about um, you know the way to the Father or you know that is through Jesus. So how do you, how have you come to understand that? Or understand the different forms of God? Do you see it just as different levels of consciousness that are attainable within oneself? Do you see it any differently? How have you come to see that?

Speaker 2: 57:44

Well, when you say levels of consciousness, there's no such thing I love that Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 57:50

Yeah, the levels of consciousness are the times you experience that Holy Spirit and the times that you don't is because the level of the Holy Spirit goes beyond your ability to perceive it in that moment or in that period of time. The more we get connected to God, the more His presence becomes out front and we're no longer searching in the same way. But the most important thing is to understand that. I remember my, you know these enlightened masters, you know again, when people are connected to the truth, they know it, there is no doubt, and they begin to see it at a level where they experience it rather than intellectually believe it. And that's the difference. My guru used to talk about Jesus all the time. He used to talk about him as a great, great saint, a great sage, but he used to say that Jesus was a man. The Holy Spirit is what we in yoga call the Shakti, or the Chinese call the key energy, or whatever.

Speaker 2: 59:27

It's all that eternal energy that flows through a great being and Jesus always said I and the Father are one Greater works that I have done you will do are one Greater works that I have done you will do. He never separated anything, although it's perceived that way, because out there people take advantage of that and use it, you know, for corrupted purposes. I mean, during the Crusades, the Pope said go out and kill in the name of God. It was justifiable and they used God's name as a way in which to exterminate people.

Speaker 1: 1:00:08

They're doing it today in Israel and in what do you call it Ukraine 100% and a lot of the, even like the Mayans and all the stuff they had sacrifices to the gods.

Speaker 2: 1:00:24

It's going on since the beginning of time.

Speaker 2: 1:00:27

And you know, god is not about annihilation and killing, although that is one of his functions, because if God is everything, he begins creation, he sustains creation and he morphs creation into a different level of consciousness. Not a death. Only the body dies. The Holy Spirit, which is God or God's grace, whatever way you want to call it is the same essence that you and I are. We're not different from God.

Speaker 2: 1:01:06

You know, like I remember I think I told you this once before, but I remember sitting on the beach with my granddaughter, brittany she was four years old at the time and we were sitting out there and and we're looking out at the ocean, it it was a beautiful day and I said to her I said look out there, brittany, what is that? And I pointed and she said that's a wave, grandpa, I said no, it's not. And she looked at me like totally confused and she said yes, it is, it's a wave. I said no, it's not, it's just water, it's the ocean itself. The wave is not real, it's temporary and when it relaxes it goes right back into the ocean again. It doesn't lose anything, it's all still there. Only you can't see it in the same form. The wave is just water, the stars and the planets, and the grasses and the animals, everything are waves on the ocean of God's grace.

Speaker 1: 1:02:15

That's a beautiful way to explain that and just to kind of, I think, wrap it up. I would love to wrap it up with a question for you, and then you can add to that whatever you like and finish however it feels right for you. I would like to kind of finalize with how you've come to understand the will of God and acceptance in your own journey for me, acceptance is to begin the journey till you, finally experience the absolute truth. That's deep, that's deep.

Speaker 2: 1:03:16

Otherwise, what's that?

Speaker 1: 1:03:19

That's deep.

Speaker 2: 1:03:21

Yeah. Well, what if we're not looking for the absolute truth that we are eternal beings, that we are God, then this whole thing just has a beginning and an end and it's no more. But none of the scriptures, none of the great beings or saints have told us that, and none of my experience in meditation, when I connect to that place, doesn't disclose that truth. In my own experience and that's the issue If somebody says to me I believe in God, they have no idea what they're talking about. A belief is a thought. It's here and it's gone. What's for dinner? Is my next thought. When you ask somebody do you believe in God? Oh, I believe in God, absolutely. I go to church every week and I pray and I blah. Well, what is your experience? What do you mean? What is my experience? Do you experience God? Well, I don't know. I'm not sure. First, if people answered honestly, most people would say that they had a belief.

Speaker 2: 1:04:44

Most people would say that they had a belief, but their experience is different. My mentor in my book I wrote about him Tom Toomey. He was a Catholic priest and a Dominican monk 20 years. He grew up in a home that valued Catholicism and spirituality as the only thing that was important and they were taught to believe in God and he became a monk and a priest and he said, after about 20 years of giving Mass and counseling people and doing all these things that religious people do, he said he was beginning to die inside Because all his life he had been taught about God and Jesus and all of this stuff and he said he never experienced God.

Speaker 2: 1:05:49

He had no idea other than his belief, to have faith in something he never knew or experienced. And so he began going around the priests and the monks that he was living with and asking them the same question Do you have any experience of God or is it just a belief? And many of them would say, well, you can't question God. How do you do that? You can't question God. And he began to realize that he couldn't live in this way because it wasn't answering anything for him, and so, as reluctantly as he could ever feel the blasphemy and everything else that went through his head, he said I can't do this anymore. He gave up his priesthood and his vows and he left the church and he wound up becoming a psychologist out in the world. And one day he got a note about a psychological conference that was being held by an Indian guru in New York City, in New York State, and he went and it was just. It was filled with psychologists and psychologists and social workers. There was thousands of them and this little guy, bhaktananda, he comes walking in dressed, was thousands of them. And this little guy looked ananda, he comes walking in dressed in orange robes, wearing a big turban, and he sits down on his chair in front of the whole group and he looks out and he's just laughing and laughing, and laughing and laughing and everybody in the audience started to get really confused.

Speaker 2: 1:07:23

That's what Tom used to say. And he said and then he did the most bizarre thing he'd ever seen in his whole life. He had a set of false teeth and he took them out, he put them on the arm of his chair and then he had his translator, who later became Gourmet, his successor, and she began to translate for him as he spoke to the group. Without any teeth in his mouth, you would think that the place would go cuckoo and you know whatever. But what happened at the end? He formed a line and people could come up and he had these peacock feathers and he would hit everybody over the head with the peacock feathers as a blessing. And he said when Tom got up and went in front of him and he got down on his knees and he got hit with the peacock feathers, he said for the first time in his life he experienced God. Wow.

Speaker 2: 1:08:31

This was a priest for 20 years, at any rate, to end this thing, because I know I don't want to run it on, but what happened from that point on is he just began to follow, you know, muktananda, wherever he went, all over the world, and his experience of God became deeper and deeper. Because he was, you know, he taught meditation. He came deeper and deeper because he was, you know, he taught meditation and after a while he got into this place. When you were around, tom, you felt your heart just burst. Just burst with love.

Speaker 2: 1:09:15

He infected everybody. It was like you know, and I remember going up to him one day and saying I don't know who you are or what you are or what you're doing, but can I please crawl into your pocket and go with you wherever you go? I don't want to lose this feeling ever in my life, and Tom invited me to travel with him around the country and Canada, teaching meditation and hearing him speak. It was one of the great blessings of my life.

Speaker 1: 1:09:48

Beautiful.

Speaker 2: 1:09:50

Yeah. So you know, the thing to take away from this is to understand that when we say I understand something, it is different than when I say I experience something. When I say I believe something or I have an idea about something, it is all about the clouds rather than the sun. So powerful. Mind is quiet. What is left is God, your true self. Quiet what is left is God's self your true self.

Speaker 1: 1:10:25

Wow, I think that's beautiful to end with that, if that's okay with you.

Speaker 2: 1:10:28

It's absolutely fine and I appreciate you so much, for the questions are great and I know you have a very beautiful path that you're on and just if. I can leave you with something to take away, is that be still and know that you are God.

Speaker 1: 1:10:49

Thank you so much, alan. It's been a pleasure, a true honor always to learn from you, to to listen to your wisdom, to, to your heart, to your message, message, um, and I know that you embody also what you share, um, so we'll go ahead and leave on the description below how, how to contact you and and your offerings as well, in case anyone's um interested in following up with you.

Speaker 2: 1:11:13

thank you so much interested in a, in having some sessions and learning, meditation or anything around holistically around well-being coaching and life coaching. I do all of that and, of course, my book. They can order that also and get a signed copy. They contact me. Do you have my email and my phone and all that?

Speaker 1: 1:11:38

I will leave not your phone but your email, so that way you're not getting just random calls, but your email and whatever else you want me to put your website, all those things. They're going to have it available If you want to say it, just so I can stay on the recording. You can, if you want to, but if not, I'll also be in the description.

Speaker 2: 1:11:56

Okay, great, my website is alangomperscom, which is easy enough, perfect, and my book is Maximum Security, the True Meaning of Freedom, and they can get a signed copy by emailing me through my agent. But if you want to call her that, she's really just a very dear friend. All of that, she's really just a very dear friend. But, at any rate, I just want to thank you again for all the things that you do in your life, which is beautiful as well, and I read your book and I really enjoyed it very much.

Speaker 1: 1:12:30

Thank you so much, alan. I enjoyed your book as well, and the sessions with you as well have been magnificent. I keep learning from you. I'm sorry, and I hope to continue to do so. So thank you again. It's an honor to have you great.

Speaker 2: 1:12:46

Thank you, hun have a great day you as well.